The First Time is Awkward
by Ashrandi the skull kid
Summary: *Lemon* You have been warned. Friends' advice can only go so far when neither really knows what they're doing. Lon'qu/Avatar (A continuation of "You Are Who You Are")
1. Advice

**A/N: I do not own Fire Emblem. I most likely never will. Thus, this story is the only thing I can claim any ownership of, but never the original source material.**

Camp was probably the worst place to keep a secret. There was very little privacy, as most people shared a tent, both for safety and efficiency. If one person knew something, then others would know it within a week. If Lissa knew it, then everyone would know it by dinner. Especially if it was happy news. So it really came as no surprise to Lon'qu when everyone started congratulating him on his engagement to Wren. That didn't make it any less annoying, though.

Not a week had passed since his less than stellar proposal. Neither he nor Wren had any desire to shout the news to the whole camp, but Lissa was the tactician's best friend. Lon'qu was more surprised that she hadn't said anything to the Ylissean princess sooner, actually.

There was one thing he really, _really_ didn't want getting spread around camp. But he felt that he did need to ask someone about it, though… preferably someone who knew things. So that was why Lon'qu found himself tracking down the army's resident, sugar-addicted thief after dinner one night. He had secured a bag of hard candies to ensure his silence, just in case.

Gaius was, as usual, flitting about camp like a hummingbird. Lon'qu must've doubled back through the camp three times trying to catch him where no one would ask what he was doing. Even if it was just for a harmless question. Finally, the thief strolled over to the perimeter of the camp, arms full of what must have been sweet rolls or glazed pies or something equally sweet. That was when the myrmidon decided to approach him.

"Gaius!" The thief looked over his shoulder, obviously having just taken a bite of whatever he had in his hands. The pause allowed Lon'qu to catch up; Gaius walked very fast for someone his size. "I need to talk to you."

Gaius swallowed and raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? What do ya need, Jitters?"

Lon'qu glared at him. Never had he liked the nickname Gaius chose for him, although he doubted that anyone liked his straight-to-the-point nicknames. The myrmidon tried to ignore the smirk on the thief's face and just got to the point himself. "I need to ask you something, but you can't tell anyone. Got it?" Pulling the bag of candies off his belt, Lon'qu tossed it to Gaius.

The thief deftly caught it and took a peek inside. Somehow, the pastries he'd been holding had disappeared. "Okay… so you jumped right to bribing, eh? Must be some secret," he smirked.

Lon'qu groaned at the attempt at humor. This was a serious topic… and he was right. The myrmidon didn't want anyone else to know. "Yes," he replied. "Now will you keep quiet or not?"

"Sure thing, Jitters. Lay it on me."

Everything that he'd planned in his head fell apart about then. It was one thing to think about what to say but an entirely different one to actually say it. "U-um… well… I wanted to… to know…" This was taking way too long. Lon'qu took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and just said it. "How do you make love to a woman?"

Opening one eye, he saw Gaius's jaw had dropped. Was it really that odd of a question? As he blinked and went back to just looking at the thief, Lon'qu saw his lips twisting, as if he were trying to keep from laughing. The myrmidon sighed heavily, adding, "No, I'm not joking."

Not even that stopped the odd look on Gaius's face, though. He finally just let out a few snickers before clearing his throat. "Okay. Okay. So… are you just looking for tips, or do you not know anything?"

Lon'qu sighed. This was more the conversation he wanted to have, although he hadn't expected Gaius to ask for further clarification. "I know… that it involves getting… undressed and… close." His cheeks grew warmer with every word, his embarrassment at the lack of this knowledge making itself known. "I… never bothered… learning."

Gaius's brow furrowed. "Oh great. Never thought I'd end up giving the birds and bees speech to a guy my own age." While the thief had more or less mumbled the words, Lon'qu still heard him. And he was even more confused that he was bringing up animals.

"Are you going to help me or not?" the myrmidon growled.

"Uh, yeah," Gaius managed to say. "But you might want to sit down, Jitters. I have no idea how you're gonna take this."

**A/N: Yes, I made up Gaius's nickname for Lon'qu; he seems to have one for every character in the game.**

**Comments, critiques, and questions would definitely be appreciated, so please review! Thank you, for there is more to come.**


	2. The Question of When

**A/N: I guess now's as good a time as any to say that this is the first lemon-ish thing I've ever written. So, some things may be way off. And thank you to everyone who reviewed the first part.**

**Also, to address a few things: yes, I skipped Gaius's explanation. If I had put it all in, then **_**I'd**_** be the one who was embarrassed.**

By the time Gaius had finished talking, Lon'qu's face literally couldn't have gotten any redder. The thief hadn't held back on anything. Seriously, even with the analogy of keys and locks… he had asked, without thinking, "_What_ goes _where_, now?!" Lon'qu thanked the gods that no one walked by or heard them talking… especially Virion. The archer would've probably liked to join in and add his own, flowery suggestions; Lon'qu wouldn't have been able to survive that much embarrassment. They parted ways almost immediately after Gaius was finished, once again leaving Lon'qu to his thoughts as he wandered back to his tent.

Now that he knew the "how," he kept thinking about "when." Did he have to plan for it, like the wedding? Did he have to say anything or would they just know? Lon'qu was treading into territory that he had no experience with and had never thought he would experience. So far, he and Wren had only embraced and shared a few kisses.

Lon'qu sighed heavily. Maybe this was just another thing he'd have to let Wren guide him through. Again. For the fifth or fifteenth time that day, the myrmidon wondered if he just wasn't meant to be married. Looking at the other couples that had gotten together in camp, the myrmidon felt so… unworthy.

"No," he muttered, tapping his knuckles lightly against his forehead, as if that would knock the doubt out of it. "She… she said she wants to… marry me. I know she did. That… means I'm worthy… right?" The words weren't helping, no matter how many times he said them.

"Something wrong?"

Lon'qu tensed at the sweet voice. Somehow, he had wandered to Wren's tent, not his own. And it was that same tactician who had her head poking out of that tent, brows knitted together in slight concern. It was the look she usually wore when she had yet to understand something, like what her fiancé was muttering outside her tent.

"I… nothing," he said, his face turning red as soon as he met her gaze. Lon'qu knew that she wouldn't take that answer, but his mind blanked. "Just… thinking."

"Getting ready for bed, I take it?" The worry had disappeared from her face, and that made his heart jump a little. She was still just standing in the doorway to her tent, holding the tent flap out of the way. Behind her, Lon'qu could see her makeshift desk and bed. Only now could he see that her large coat was hung over a chair, showing just how small she really was. Yet she could still face down a horde of Risen without blinking an eye. There was certainly a hidden strength to her that her stature just didn't do justice to.

"Yes…" Lon'qu nodded and looked off to the side. Yes, sleep would probably do him some good.

That is, if Wren would let him. As soon as his eyes left hers, the tactician quickly closed the space between them and caught Lon'qu in a hug. He returned the hug almost as a reflex, his heart beating faster even as his nerves relaxed. "Okay, then. Good night, love."

No prying. No wrestling the truth out. Just "good night." There was a bit of hesitation in her voice, as if she wanted to say more, but she didn't, instead just letting him move at his own pace. The tactician was bold; however, she also knew when to let things be so she didn't pressure him. Wren had said as much to him after the whole fiasco that had been his proposal. Lon'qu sighed. She was far too good for him.

"Wren…" he started, waiting for her to look up at him before continuing. "I love you. I just… don't know what to do."

"About what?" Wren tilted her head, waiting for the last piece of the puzzle to figure out how to fix whatever was wrong.

"I'm… afraid." Lon'qu began shivering, only in part due to the night air. "That this… is as close as we'll… ever be." Somehow, it was just easier to tell her what was on his mind, even if he couldn't put it into words.

Wren's eyes narrowed in thought, then opened in realization. She gave him a slightly mischievous grin, mixed with what he could only assume was affection. "You're worried about _being_ together? Is that right?" Lon'qu nodded. At that, the tactician broke the embrace and stepped back, pulling her hands along his arms until she was holding his hands in hers. The brief contact of her fingers and the bare skin between his sleeves and gauntlets sent shivers down his spine. "Then… why don't you spend the night?"

"I… I… I don't know," he gasped, looking down at his feet. "I don't…" The myrmidon wasn't quite sure what he was going to say, but he didn't need to.

"If you're worried," she said, bending down so she could see his face more clearly, "then put those worries to rest. If you're just uncomfortable, then tell me."

Glancing back at her face, Lon'qu was quite surprised to see that her cheeks were red, and getting redder by the second. Was it possible that she… was just as scared as he was? "I… I am just… worried. But do… do you…?"

Wren nodded. "If it's you, then yes. Because… I love you. And I trust you."

With that, Lon'qu gave her hands a light squeeze, letting her lead him the few short steps back to her tent.

**A/N: I'm getting to the juicy stuff, I swear.**

**Anyway, please leave your comments, questions, and critiques in the reviews. Thank you.**


	3. Awkward Doesn't Quite Describe It

**A/N: This chapter… was hard to write. That's most of the reason why it took so long to get up. I hope you enjoy it.**

The air was only slightly warmer inside the tent, yet Lon'qu felt so much warmer than he should have. It wasn't the few candles set on Wren's desk, burning low in their holders, nor the loss of the wind. Every inch of his body was just… warm. For no reason, except for maybe the blood rushing to his neck and cheeks. That might have been it.

Wren stopped a pace or two into the tent – it wasn't that large – and ran her hands back up the myrmidon's arms, earning her another faint shiver. When her hands reached his shoulders, the tactician gently pulled him down so she could tilt her head up and kiss him.

Lon'qu wrapped his arms around her, supporting her as they kissed. Despite the hesitance he sensed, Wren stayed right there, whispering right against his lips, "Just tell me if you want to stop." The myrmidon could barely hear her over the pounding of blood in his veins; her every word was little more than a soft exhalation. "Okay?" Lon'qu nodded slowly, worried that any sudden movement would destroy the moment.

He could feel the smile that tugged at the edges of her lips, but she didn't say anything, instead going in for another kiss. Up until that point, everything had been in familiar territory; nothing new beyond the understanding that they weren't going to stop there. Wren's hand slid up and tangled in his hair as she coaxed his lips apart, letting her explore his mouth with her tongue before meeting it with his.

The quiet and intimacy of the moment almost made him forget why they were there, but a small, warm hand that slipped inside his shirt grounded him in an instant. Lon'qu inhaled sharply, only now aware that Wren's other hand was holding on tightly to his belt. They were really doing this, weren't they? The myrmidon bunched his hands in her shirt as he felt the need to really hold on to something.

Wren was the one to break the kiss, resting her head against his chest as she brought both hands to his belt. The myrmidon let out a soft huff of annoyance, not wanting the kiss to end, but it became clear that she simply needed her eyes elsewhere as she fiddled with the clasp. The tactician was muttering something under her breath, and then sighing at the same time Lon'qu heard the click of his belt clasp coming undone. He dropped his head to kiss the top of Wren's head, feeling more than a bit odd at having someone else take his clothes off.

She just let his belt fall to the floor and tilted her head sideways. Lon'qu's breath hitched as he saw slight embarrassment on her face, but before he could say anything, she said, "You're gonna have to take your boots off."

It wasn't anything to worry about. A small detail, really, but the fact that he hadn't noticed it before made the myrmidon aware of just how much more… clothed he was than her. Wren was just in her shirt and pants, not even socks on her feet. Compared to her, Lon'qu was battle-ready. Actually, with the exception of his belt, he really was.

"Uh… y-yes…" The myrmidon was hesitant to let go of Wren, but the boots really did need to go. But as he made to bend down and take them off, the tactician tugged on his shirt, nodding towards her cot.

"… Better idea…" was all she said, leading him by the collar of his now open shirt to sit on the edge of the bed. If it hadn't been physically impossible, Lon'qu's heart would've beat even faster. Beside him, Wren crawled onto the bed and scooted behind him. The myrmidon couldn't see everything she was doing, but he could definitely feel her hands on his shoulders before leaning against his back. "Boots?"

That single word prompted Lon'qu to turn around and work on the fur-lined boots. Why did they have to be such a good fit? He couldn't just kick them off and move on. Yet it turned out to be a mixed blessing as, with each breath, he felt Wren shift ever so slightly, her warm breath tickling the back of his neck. The myrmidon was also becoming aware that his pants were feeling a bit too snug.

Lon'qu nearly threw his boots off, caught between embarrassment and the knowledge that this was normal. His back tensed as he felt Wren pull his shirt down over his shoulders, but he let it fall to the ground.

Her hands returned to his shoulders, though they didn't linger there for long. Sliding down, her fingers ghosted over his skin in seemingly meaningless patterns until she traced a line from his back, under his arm, and onto his abdomen. Wren was tracing his scars, reminders of times he hadn't been as fast or as good as he should have been. Instead of shame at having the results of his failures being so utterly exposed, Lon'qu felt a curiosity… a longing, almost, to see and feel what Wren kept hidden beneath that large coat of hers.

Turning around, the myrmidon wrapped his arm around her, pulling her into a gentle kiss. It obviously hadn't been what she was expecting because her hand dropped down to steady herself, resting on his arousal. Lon'qu gasped at the sudden increase in pressure, and in a flurry of nearly reflexive movement, he heaved them both fully onto the bed.

"Oof!" Wren blinked a few times, trying to reorient herself. "I… I'm sorry, Lon'qu," she said immediately, much too fast for her to realize what it was she was saying. "I… uh… that didn't… hurt, did it?"

The worry in her voice made him aware that he was still a bit surprised himself. It wasn't so much his reaction as the bizarre feeling her touch had sent up his spine, something that felt foreign yet oddly pleasant. Lon'qu shook his head. "I… wasn't expecting it."

Wren's mouth quirked into a lopsided smile. "Good to know," she said softly as she leaned up to resume their kiss. This time, her hand started at his navel and drifted down, cupping his arousal again and giving it a light squeeze.

Lon'qu moaned into her mouth. The rush of tingles Wren's touch sent through his body made his head spin, and he gripped the hem of her shirt to push their bodies together. It wasn't a conscious decision, but the slight gasp Wren let out told him that it was apparently the right one. Of course, it also told him that she was still wearing her shirt, and that needed to go… just like his boots.

He reluctantly pulled out of the kiss as he tugged up on her shirt. While he felt that he should've been as slow with it as she had with his, Lon'qu was getting impatient. The myrmidon was starting to understand what some men meant when they said they 'wanted to tear a woman's clothes off.' Everything felt like it was in the way even as he was scared to remove these last few barriers. He had come this far, though, and he was damned if he was going to stop now, no matter how terrifying.

Wren caught onto his intentions quickly and raised her arms so he could remove that article of clothing completely. Lon'qu didn't look where he was tossing the shirt once it was off; his eyes were locked on her. He knew she was small compared to most other women, but without anything to cover her chest, she looked… delicate. What few scars she had were thin, almost invisible and definitely negligible. The largest was on her shoulder, and he ran his thumb over it, wondering what it could possibly be from.

"Surprised?" she asked teasingly, tugging lightly on his trousers' waistband.

"Not really," he replied. Shifting his weight, Lon'qu pushed her back to lie on the bed, following her down with tentative kisses on her cheek down to the base of her neck. Wren didn't moan at the attention; instead, she giggled lightly, and that was all the encouragement he needed. The pressure between his legs had finally become unbearable in the confines of his trousers, and he laid a hand over hers, urging her to finish what she had started with his belt.

The tactician complied, pushing down trousers and smallclothes both so he could kick off the rest himself. He felt only slight relief as his hardness was freed, gasping into Wren's shoulder at the new sensation. He tried to do the same for her, but he found it hard to concentrate on that and holding himself above her body. Lon'qu was still the slightest bit scared that, if he rested his weight on hers, he would crush her. That was a fear she threw out the window, pulling him down until their bodies were nearly flush with each other. Running her fingers through his unruly hair, Wren kissed him deeply and lifted her hips slightly so Lon'qu could slide her out of the last of her clothes.

Every muscle in his body tensed, simultaneously ready and unsure of what to do next. "Ready?" he whispered in the brief pause as they parted for air.

"Mm-hm," Wren murmured, gripping his hips lightly and guiding him to her entrance.

Letting her hands steady him, Lon'qu eased into her. Wren inhaled sharply but kept him from pulling back, moaning softly into his ear. She was warm and tight, and he suddenly felt his doubts disappear. Wren was still there; she was fine. They were together. No barriers. No distance at all.

Affection and love swelled in his chest, erasing all the worry and fear. "I love you," he said, not loud enough to even be a whisper, yet he knew she heard.

"I love you, too. Always."

He began to move, and then it just felt like his body took over. Any and all advice he had heard flew from his mind as they found a rhythm that felt good, slow and careful at first until an odd and pleasant tingling ran up his spine. Without realizing it, Lon'qu increased his pace, only aware of the warmth flooding his whole body and Wren's moaning.

They didn't last very long. So many new sensations built quickly, and before he knew it, Lon'qu felt himself come as he let out a long, low moan, pressing his lips to hers. At the same time, Wren gasped and dug her fingers into his back. After that brief moment of ecstasy, the myrmidon felt his senses return to him and his body relaxed. Rolling off to the side, Lon'qu wrapped the tactician in his arms and held her close.

"Feeling better?" Wren asked when she caught her breath. She snuggled against him, nestling her head into the space between his shoulder and neck and curling her arms around him lazily.

"Mm… yes." There was still a thought nagging at the back of his mind, though. Whether it was because of the post-coital calm or his own trust, he ventured to ask, "Was it… good?"

Wren sighed heavily. "I don't have a reference point. It certainly wasn't bad." She tilted her head to look him in the eye. "And besides, it's like fighting, I suppose. If we practice enough, we'll get better. Right?"

Lon'qu didn't have the right words to tell her how much her words meant to him. They were a promise to stay with him, and the myrmidon couldn't imagine a world without her anymore. She filled a little yet important part of his heart that he hadn't known was empty until recently. But those words didn't come to him, so he just smiled and kissed her forehead. "Yeah. Though your instincts didn't hurt."

"What do you mean?"

The myrmidon raised an eyebrow. "I mean… uh… you knew how to do… those things. You weren't… going on instinct?"

Wren's face turned red again, and she buried her face in his chest again. "Well, you know this was my first time. I d-didn't want to look like a complete idiot, so… um, let's just say that Miriel's library is much more thorough than you'd think. _A lot_ more thorough."

He tried to keep from laughing out loud, but she felt the vibrations of his chuckles anyway. "Really?

The tactician gave him a terse nod, allowing him to catch a glimpse of her lopsided smile. "Yes." She yawned and snuggled against him again. "I'm getting kinda sleepy. Is it just me?"

Lon'qu shrugged, also feeling his eyes grow heavy. The exhaustion of love-making was something he had never really considered before, even after his talk with Gaius. "Um… can I stay here? For the night?" It was an indirect way of answering her, but Wren was so smart that he felt she would understand him even if he was speaking gibberish… even if she denied it when he told her such.

"Of course, love. I'd actually… really like it if you did."

Lon'qu smiled and mustered the dregs of his strength to pull the blankets over them both. Even if they felt warm now, they probably wouldn't later into the night. That, and he didn't like the idea of someone walking in on them without some sort of covering.

"I love you, Wren…" he whispered as he let sleep overtake him.

"I know," he heard her say. "And I'll always love you, too. Good night… Lon'qu."

**A/N: Again, apologies for the wait. I didn't write this chapter all at once, so parts may not necessarily go together as well as they could've.**

**I said it before, but this is my first time writing sex, so any comments or critiques you have would really help my writing in the future. Thank you so much, and I hope you enjoyed reading this horribly awkward piece of fanfiction.**


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